


Time to Pretend

by shrodingers



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Lots of it tbh, billy batson being a dork, but then again his whole family is, many nerdy references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-01-06 21:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18396266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrodingers/pseuds/shrodingers
Summary: "We could be beating up vigilantes, but no, I have a chemistry test to study for!""That's because we want to end up like a certain rich playboy genius who fights crime at night."Or, in which Billy gets a social media account, accidentally gains a new supervillain, aces a test, and joins the Justice League. Or something like that.





	1. Just Reddit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddy attempts to get a social media account for Billy. Late-night shenanigans ensue.

"Okay, so just download the app off the App Store, and click on the colorful sign that looks like a camera of sorts." 

"Uh, Freeman-" 

"Then, click download, wait for a little while, and you should receive the notification that it's fully downloaded and would normally appear on your home screen." 

"Freeman-" 

"Now click on the app, and you should see something like this," said Freddy, shoving what looked like a home screen in Billy's face. 

"Jesus, Fred! How are you not blind from staring at that screen?" shouted an exasperated Billy.

"Someone here decides to go out for his nocturnal superhero rendezvous and this results in me staying up until the wee hours of the morning while recording & uploading yet another video of 'The Misadventures of Captain Sparkle-fingers'." said Freddy pointedly. 

"First off, I did not ask you to record any of that, so that's a no thanks. Second of all, my superhero name is not going to be 'Captain Sparkle-fingers'. Do you have any idea how lame that sounds?" 

"It's called being a superhero manager, sweetie, so get used to it. And if you don't like my idea, why not you create one? I'm sure there are some awesome ideas just flowing from that Solomon-sized brain of yours." 

"I think you just ruined the word sweetie for everyone."

"Shut up, Batson! Everyone knows that you play with Mega Bloks instead of Legos anyway." exclaimed a now blushing Freddy.

"Excuse you, but I played with plenty of Legos in my copious list of foster homes," declared Billy in a posh accent. "My skills were so brilliant that the other kids would call me, dare I say it? An architect protégé." he finished with a chuckle. 

"That's a pretty large vocabulary for a teenage guy."

"You know, that's not the only thing that I have that's big." said a smirking Billy, wiggling his eyebrows. 

"Gross!" yelled Freddy, chucking a Batman pillow, which he successfully caught. "How did we even reach this conversation?" 

"Well, you told me that I played with Mega Bloks," said Billy, dramatically flinging his body on their bunk bed. "I thought you loved me, Freddy. Loved me enough as to not use that insult towards me. What would Victor and Rosa think?" 

"You can't use the 'Victor and Rosa' card on me, because you aren't exactly compliant when it comes to following rules," Freddy pointed out. "I can't recall the number of times I had to cover you whenever you came home with a black eye or bruised knuckles or a rib injury, which, by the way, was 56 times. And counting." 

"Fine, I'm really sorry Freddy. For a second, I didn't realize that you could count." said Billy, trying to hold in a laugh.

"Jackass." he cursed, before joining in. 

"Billy! Freddie! Can you two keep it down, I'm trying to study for my Calculus BC exam!" shouted Mary from the next room.

They both shared a look before bursting into laughter once more. Hearing shuffling and cursing due to the very thin walls, they both quieted down after what seemed like an hour. 

"I don't aim to take calculus of any form. One look at Mary's textbook and I had nightmares that a partial differential equation dressed as Mrs. Glenn was chasing me along the school hallways." 

"I'm so thankful that telekinesis isn't one of my powers. I would never be the same cheerful boy after one glance. And dude," blurted Billy, bumping shoulders with him. "You actually know what a differential equation is! I'm still struggling with trigonometry!" 

"That's due to my naturally neeky nature. Obsession with comic books, passion for all things scientific, superhero conspiracy theories, I can be my own brand of superhero." 

"You are a superhero, you dumbass. And what the hell is a neek?" 

"It's the combination of two personalities: a nerd and a geek. I prefer that over gerd, which is short for gastroesophageal reflux disease-" 

"Fair point," said Billy queasily. "Anyway, I think we should go to bed. Mary's gonna complain to Victor and Rosa anytime soon, and the last thing we need is a damper on our superhero plans." 

"That's true, and I have Biology at 8 am, and I can't afford to fall asleep in that class again. One more slip-up and the school will have to call the house." uttered Freddy worriedly.

"Mmm, okay then. 'Night, Freeman." said Billy, sleep settling in his voice.

"Goodnight, Batson." said Freddy, struggling and failing to hide a yawn. 

They both settled in, slowly drifting off to a dreamless sleep. That would be the case, but Freddy spoke up a few minutes in, breaking whatever form of sleeping they were attempting to do.

"Hey Billy, what was it you were going to tell me before that?" 

"I have a Nokia." 

"Dammit, Batson! You didn't tell me while we were having this conversation?" 

"You were too busy demonstrating, and I didn't want to burst your bubble. Besides, you look cute when you go all 'neeky' mode." 

"That's it! We are getting you the brand new iPhone X this weekend, and I will get you an Instagram account because I am a supportive best friend for a superhero who's not super at all!" huffed a frustrated Freddy. 

"Sounds like you care about me." teased Billy. 

"Shut up, Batson!" he squealed, his face now akin to a tomato. (Freddy silently thanked his parents for giving him a bunk bed.)


	2. Of Busybodies and Bubblegum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other kids at school question the relationship between the town's superhero and the resident disabled nerd. Billy and Freddy have to make up an excuse.

Billy wanted to be anywhere but school at this point.

It started at PE class when his peers turned their discussion from sports to superheroes. Billy, on the other hand, was making eye contact with the coach, hoping that he finished a few minutes in so he could leave. (The coach, however, was too engrossed in his sports magazine. He knew this because he didn't reply when he flipped him off.)

This wasn't to say that he hated being a superhero in general. He loved being Shazam. He adored the thrill of decking some asshole who thought it would be funny to harass a young graduate student or beating up some robbers while chewing bubblegum. However, he didn't really like the publicity of it all. Scratch that, he detested it. He only appeared once or twice on 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘗𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘺! a couple of times but that was it. Every time the grocer or barber or worse, Victor and Rosa mentioned what the Red Cyclone/ Captain Thunder/whatever his name was had done, he often felt a sense of nausea, as though he busted a cop's car instead of tying up a bioengineered crocodile who attempted to destroy the city. In his case, he's currently feeling it whenever a group of middle school students name-drop his nocturnal activities. Not that it needed name-dropping anyway. 

"I can't believe he beat up some wife-beater the other day man! He's so badass!" cried out one student. 

"I wonder if he has a girlfriend?" asked a cheerleader. 

"You know, Sir Zaps-A-Lot seemed to know Freeman's name at lunch last week. Do you think he knows-" 

(Billy didn't hear the rest of the question because he was too busy rushing to the shower rooms to get changed. The coach was still reading his magazine.) 

!! 

When Freddy got to his regular lunch table, he was greeted by a swarm of middle school students clamoring for his attention. 

"Hey Freeman, how did you get the Red Cyclone and Superman to eat with you last week?" shouted a seventh grader. 

"Uh, I didn't, I don't-" Freddy stammered, furiously wiping the beads of sweat that was starting to appear on his forehead.

"Did you grovel? Put up an ads page? Come on man, we need answers!" pleaded a ninth grader. 

"Answers! Answers! Answers!" chanted the entire student body, surrounding him to prevent him from escaping. 

Freddy felt trapped, more so than that other time he was cornered by that seven sins dude. On the verge of tears, he spotted a familiar red beanie in the hallway. Breathing a sigh of relief, he muttered a quick excuse and hobbled out the door. Quickly shutting the doors, he heard the loud chanting from the restroom stalls that Billy dragged him into.

!! 

"What the fuck did you tell them, Batson? The whole school is after me, and not in the way I imagined it to be!" hissed Freddy furiously.

"Thank god I'm not a telepath-ow!" 

"I'm serious, Batson! What the fuck did you tell them?" 

"I didn't say anything! I was minding my own business at PE and they started talking about me and they made the connection on their own! You've been here longer than I have, so that could be why they're after you and not me!" 

"I should have agreed when Rosa told me about that private school in Pittsburg," he grumbled in frustration. "Alright, so what's the plan?" 

"Okay, so I go as Shazam," standing back as the familiar sense of lightning filled the stall. "And I tell everyone to leave you alone, then I fly off to the soccer field and transform back into myself. Pretty good huh?"

"Yeah, it's a good idea, but you forgot that the others will follow you and will know your alternate identity!" shouted Freddy, whacking him with his crutch for good measure. 

"Dude, you have to stop doing that-ow!" 

"Oh yeah, what are you going to do about that, Batson?" sneered Freddy. 

"Watch me, Freeman," said Billy, narrowing his eyes. Leaning down, he whispered 'Shazam', transforming back into his regular self. "I happen to know your tickle spots. Don't fuck with me." 

Freddy blinked twice, before bursting into laughter. "There's no way you know my tickle spots! I've never shown my weakness to anyone, so you failed-oh shit!" 

"Hmm, what did you say? It sounded like you said you didn't have any tickle spots." Billy smirked. 

"Okay, fine! You win! Now let me go!" Freddy giggled, gasping for air. The sudden slam of the door made them both jump.

"Mr. Batson, Mr. Freeman, you can continue your shenanigans elsewhere. Lunch hour has ended five minutes ago, and unless you have some excuse as to why you two have been in the restroom for so long, get to class." said security guard Moron. 

They both hurried out of the restroom, muttering 'sorry, Mr. Moron' while purposefully knocking into each other. 

"Kids these days." sighed Moron, as he headed back to his post. 

!! 

"ATTENTION STUDENTS OF - UH, RANDOM PHILADELPHIAN SCHOOL!" announced Billy/Shazam through cupped hands. Gleeful students eagerly ran out of their classrooms, scrambling to meet their new favorite superhero.

"Aw, fuck yeah! My dude just dropped by in town!" screamed a fourth grader (he wasn't surprised, he started cursing when he was seven).

"Can you sign my lunchbox?" asked a second grader who looked suspiciously like Darla. Narrowing his eyes, he signed her lunchbox anyway, watching her slip away. 

"You already came to our school, asshole! Remember? You showed up at last week and ate lunch with that nerd!" howled one of the Bryer brothers. Burke? Brett? He wanted to kick them both in the face ala Karate Kid. 

"That's what I wanted to talk to all of you about." he said, demanding silence. The kids leaned forward with interest, wondering what he had to say. 

"I know many of you have been wondering as to how Mr. Freeman and I know each other. Some of you have even been harassing him. What have I taught you kids?" said Billy/Shazam in the deepest voice his adult vocal cords could muster. 

"Um, actually, you didn't teach us shit." said...Eugene? Of all the days, his siblings decide to fuck with him on the day he had to go as his alter-ego. Of course. 

"What I was going to say before this kind gentleman," he glared at Eugene, who smiled sweetly at him, "Interrupted me, was that you should not pick on other kids just because they're different. Now Mr. Freeman had told me that most of you have been picking on him, and while some of you think it's funny, do you know that sometimes he cries himself to sleep at night? Or that he fakes a medical leave so that he doesn't have to attend school? Or how about the many times he wished for his disability to disappear every birthday?" Glancing at the shocked and genuinely upset faces, he continued. 

"Mr. Freeman here is an incredibly intelligent young man whose heart is larger than his tiny frame and deserves respect from you lot! Do I make myself clear?" Surprisingly, the whole student body nodded in unison. Huh, maybe all they needed was a superhero to lecture them on basic ethics. 

"Great! Now, don't forget to eat your vegetables, do your homework, yadda yadda yadda, be good in general!" shouted Billy/Shazam before flying off. 

"He's so amazing," he heard an eleventh grader sigh dreamily. Okay, so maybe his message didn't get to everyone. 

!! 

Flying off to the soccer field, he shouted 'Shazam!' before landing on his stomach. 

"I should land before saying that next time," muttered Billy, groaning in pain. It was worth it when he saw Freddy running towards him. 

"Billy, are you alright? Are you hurt?" asked Freddy, fussing over his injuries. 

"No shit Sherlock," he wheezed out a reply. "I landed on my fucking stomach so the soccer field might probably stink of meatloaf." 

"Dumbass," Freddy chuckled. "But seriously though, thank you for doing that whole speech thing. That's the nicest thing that anyone has done for me, and I'm living with the Vasquez's." 

"Hey man, no problem. You've been incredibly tolerant of my situation so I decided to return the favor. It's not a big deal." 

"Wanna get candy later and eat until we puke our guts out?" 

"Definitely." 

"Can you two stop flirting for one second and get your asses over here?" 

Startled, they turned around and saw a smirking Mary, Eugene, Darla, and Pedro. Both flushed a bright red, looking away from each other. 

"We weren't, we were just-" 

"Yeah, yeah, cut the bullshit, let's go. Victor and Rosa are waiting." said Mary, spinning on her heel and walking away.

"For the record, I thought that what you did was really kind Billy." whispered Darla, earning a nod from Eugene. Pedro simply clapped him on the back and picked up his pace. Freddy, exhausted from the day's events, slept on his shoulder while in the car. He was kind enough not to mention the drool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean after that whole 'two major superheroes show up at lunch' shindig, the other kids would be dying to know how Shazam! and Freddy know each other so this had to be written okay
> 
> tell me what other shenanigans you want the gang to do. knowing them, they probably have a record :/


	3. Billy Batson vs. The World (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boy meets boy. Boy falls in love with boy. Boy moves away, then returns and now must prevent boy's evil exes from world domination. An epic of epic epicness.

"Billy, I hate to be the one to ask, but what the absolute fuck is this?" screamed Freddy as he dodged a car, barely catching it. 

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" shouted Billy, racing just in time to save a little girl from falling over. "I'm just as clueless as you are!"

"Maybe you should ask your boyfriend, I'm sure he has all the answers!" 

"For the last time, he's my ex! He dumped me, remember?" 

"Sure doesn't look like it!" 

"Oy, morons!" 

They both stopped arguing and saw a familiar flash of blue. Scrambling on top of what was previously a car, he waved about to get their attention. 

"Ajax, get down from there, you could get hurt!" 

"Hurt? What I'm hurt about is that you're not explaining the damn context of this story, Billy!" said a frustrated Ajax, hands on his hips.

"Wait, what?" 

"Your cluelessness is endearing at times, honey, but not now. You can't just drop the readers in the middle of an action scene without explanation. They'll get confused!" 

Billy and Freddy shared a look.

"Well, as much as I don't like him, he does have a point. We should start at the beginning." 

"It all started when I was four-" 

"Not that kind of beginning, you idiot!" 

"No, let him finish." said Ajax, a small smirk on his face. 

"Shut up, Ajax! We are starting from how we got into this shitty situation in the first place, no thanks to you!" exclaimed a now pissed Freddy. 

"Okay, okay, calm down Fredward! When should we start again?" said Ajax innocently, batting his eyes for extra emphasis. 

"Ugh, just start the thing already!" huffed a now defeated Freddy. 

*𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫*

"Pass the maple syrup, Pedro." chirped Darla, observing it drip in rivulets over her vegan waffles.

"Darla, don't pour too much, you're gonna get sick sweetie," huffed an exasperated Rosa. 

"Did you guys know that the reason bananas are curved because they grow towards the sun?" said an enthusiastic Freddy, wolfing down his waffles.

"You know, that could explain-" 

"Jesus Christ Billy, really? In this good Christian household?" uttered a now choking Freddy, spraying bits of waffle and orange juice all over the table. 

"Were we ever really a good household?" muttered a disgusted Eugene, returning his focus to his game. 

"Enough, all of you, and just enjoy your breakfast." said Victor sternly, before returning to his morning paper. 

"Huh, the caped crusaders have saved the city once again." said Rosa, peering at the front page. 

"You know, I've often wondered if they have secret identities of any kind. Surely they can't be full-time superheroes?" asked Victor, not noticing the terrified look on his kids' faces. 

"Everyone, I have an important announcement to make!" announced Mary, settling down and eating her breakfast. Billy, along with the rest of them, heaved a sigh of relief.

"Sure, sweetie. What is it?" asked Rosa patiently. Everyone leaned forward, waiting to hear her news.

"So you guys know that I got accepted to Caltech-" 

"Woohoo!" cheered Freddy, abruptly stopping when everyone glared at him. Sheepishly gathering his plate, he made his way to the kitchen.

"Do go on, Mary." said Victor, nudging her shoulder. 

"Well, I rejected that offer. At first, I thought it was the program, or the campus, or even the food offered there. Even my friends asked me why I rejected an offer from such an amazing opportunity. But later I realized that you guys wouldn't be there with me to share it with," whispered Mary, tears welling in her eyes. 

"That's why I decided to attend the University of Pennsylvania. They have a great STEM program, a large campus, and best of all, it's located in Philly, so I can come home anytime I want." 

Victor and Rosa exchanged a look. 

"Sweetie, we love you and we're so proud of you. No matter what decision you make, just know that we will always be here to support you." murmured Rosa, trying and failing to hide back tears. 

"Group hug!" declared Darla, getting up from her seat and rushing to Rosa and Mary's side. And if they were ten minutes late to school, so be it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the biggest nerdy reference in this fic and I'm proud  
> also I watched endgame and I'm not okay yay :')))


	4. Billy Batson vs. The World (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ajax's the new kid in town, and he's nothing the town has seen. Billy's a lovestruck fool. Freddy, not so much.

"Superman is obviously better than Batman!" 

"No, he isn't! Batman has the gadgets and the wit to defeat Superman!" retorted Billy, determination in his eyes.

"Speaking of superheroes, you guys need to get out of the car. Superintelligence counts as a power, you know." said Rosa, hurrying the kids out. 

"Haha, very funny, Rosa. Everyone knows the best power is flight-" 

"Okay, bye Rosa!" Billy interrupted just in time before Freddy could launch into yet another discussion as to why flight is the best superpower, dragging him out by his backpack.

"Okay, just because you share a surname, does not mean you can't halt my discussions about the Justice League!" hissed Freddy, hoping that no one eavesdropped on their conversation.

"Um, yes I can, dude. And as far as I'm concerned, Batman and I don't share the same surname." said Billy, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Bat-son? Bat son? Clearly, no one made that connection!" gestured Freddy, his hands waving about enthusiastically.

"You need to get a life dude. Now come on, is Shakespeare gonna learn itself?" 

!! 

"Everyone knows that Green Lantern is the coolest! He made a world war one tank from only his subconscious!" 

"Yeah, but the Flash has time traveled many times, so that's pretty awesome." 

"That's a fair point, but can the Flash produce a bazooka? I think not." 

"Well, I wasn't expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition-oh, don't give me that look!" 

"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!!" bellowed Freddy, causing students to turn and stare. He didn't notice that, as he was on the floor, cackling like a maniac. Crutch be damned. 

"Dude, get the fuck up!" wheezed Billy, before joining him on the floor. Both were laughing for what seemed like hours until a figure blocked their path. 

"Billy Batson, is that really you?" 

Billy was about to reply but he was met with a familiar pair of heterochromatic eyes. Sucking in a sharp breath, he took in all of new boy's features. Tanned skin. Shirt of their favorite rock band. Dyed bubblegum pink hair Darla would definitely try when she's much older. The crinkles at the corner of his eyes whenever he smiled-

"Hello? Ground control to Major Billy, can you read me?" asked new boy, snapping his fingers to get his attention. 

"This is Major Billy to ground control. I'm floating in the most peculiar way." said Billy, his lips forming the goofiest grin he could ever fathom. At the corner of his eye, he saw Freddy grimace. 

"Okay, I'm going to have to pause this weird flirtation going on here, but who the hell are you and how do you know Billy?" demanded Freddy, struggling to stand up.

"Simply put, I was from Billy's past. And now present." said new boy, helping Freddy up. 

"Well that's really detailed. Mind telling us more, please?" 

"My name is Abdul Al Hassan, but you can call me Ajax. My interests include long walks on the beach, Italian cuisine, and chess. I'm interested in a life partner who never fails to make me laugh with his dorkiness." said Ajax, aiming the last response at Billy, whose ears turned red to match his beanie. 

"Not that kind of intro! I meant what you want with Billy?" exclaimed Freddy, dusting bits of snow off him with his one free hand.

"Ugh, how did you two become friends?" 

"Actually," Billy stepped in. "I was adopted into Freddy's family. They're the best thing in my life so far." Ajax looked like he was about to burst at Billy's reply.

"A family? That's so fucking adorable!" shrieked Ajax, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. 

"What took you guys so long? We've been waiting for you like an hour!" shouted Mary, the car suddenly coming into view. 

"Anyway, it's been nice catching up with you Billy, and.." 

"Freddy." said Freddy through gritted teeth. 

"Fredward. Right. Okay, I'll see you Monday!" said Ajax, before skipping away. 

"Who was that kid you were talking to, Billy?" asked Darla, as they drove off. 

"Yeah, Billy, have you met him somewhere before? He looks like a new kid." said Mary, concern laced in her tone. 

"Someone I used to know." sighed Billy. Freddy scoffed and turned away. 

!! 

"Okay, spill." 

Billy bit back a stammer. "W-what? It's two in the morning, go back to sleep." 

"You seem to know this new kid.." 

"Ajax." Billy corrected, fighting to hide a yawn. 

"Ajax. Whatever. I just want to know if he's you know, been causing any trouble." 

Billy peeped down. "Fine. Ajax was an ex of mine. We used to date back when I was on the streets, but we broke up after two months when he left with his new foster family." 

"And now he's back." confirmed Freddy. 

Billy sighed for the umpteenth time. "And now he's back." 

"Just promise me that you won't get hurt this time. Or try to hide it." 

"Freeman-" 

"Just promise me, Batson." said Freddy sternly. 

"I promise." whispered Billy as genuinely as possible. 

"Good." said Freddy, smiling as Billy grinned back. However, that didn't assert his worries as he tossed and turned that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here are the references mentioned in this chapter:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRMZ_5WYmCg
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CV11t_qYikg


	5. Billy Batson vs. The World (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddy feels left out. The first evil ex shows up. Overall, it was a pretty average day for Billy.

For the next few days, Billy's mind was on nothing but Ajax. They spent their days creating Shakespeare puns, belting 70s tunes, and scarfing down as much cheese poppers they can (it was 256, as of late). They were both drifters, so it made sense to find each other. Maybe Ajax was the one. He had to be-

"Billy! Are you even listening to me?"

Billy snapped out of his daydream, eyes darting back and forth to see if anyone had witnessed it. 

"No one saw that you were grinning like a loon, Batson, relax." sighed an exasperated Freddy. 

Flushing a bright red, he asked, "How long was I in this state?" 

Freddy checked his watch. "An hour, forty-five minutes, and three seconds. Any longer and I would have had to slap you." 

Humming a response, he gestured for Freddy to go on, only to have him stare cluelessly at him. 

"What the hell are you doing? Is it BSL?" 

"You're supposed to discuss something, no?" 

"Right! Right. Yes, we need to discuss something. Yes." nodded Freddy, wanting to be anywhere else but at the cafeteria.

Billy was about to provide a snarky reply when the cafeteria doors burst open, revealing a figure dressed in..was that spandex? 

"BILLY BATSON!" the figure's voice reverberated, their laser-like glare focused solely on him. The other students began to whisper indiscreetly amongst themselves. Billy had never wanted to be the floor so badly in his life.

"Yes, this is Fawcett Central Middle School, leave a message." said Billy nonchalantly, turning back to his fries while Freddy cowered in fear.

"DO NOT BE IMPUDENT WITH ME, BOY!" the figure slammed a hand onto a nearby table, causing it to collapse. 

"Boy? You do realize that you look around the same age as we are, right?" asked Billy. 

"AH! AS I WAS SAYING, ON BEHALF OF THE EVIL EX CO., WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO PARTICIPATE IN A DUEL FOR THE END OF TIMES! ACCEPT, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!" 

"Uhh, I'm gonna have to ask my foster parents on this, but it's cool." 

"TOO LATE! YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN ON BEHALF OF ABDUL AL HASSAN! MEET US ON SATURDAY, 5:00 PM AT THE ABANDONED WAREHOUSE! IF YOU DELAY, WE WILL WREAK HAVOC! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!" 

"Wait wha-" 

"Thank you for listening, have a nice day." said the figure, before flying off, further ruining the cafeteria. 

"Billy? Billy! Are you alright?" asked Freddy, frantically shaking a stunned Billy by the shoulders. 

"Um, yeah, I'm okay, Freddy. W-we should probably go, though." stammered Billy as dodged the inquisitive stares and whispers from the neighboring students, only to be blocked by a familiar flash of pink hair. 

"Batson! Fredward! Over here!" whispered Ajax furiously, pulling them into the nearest bathroom. 

"Okay, Ajax," muttered Freddy, emphasizing Ajax's name, "What the ever-loving fuck was that? Chosen by your name for an evil Justice League?" 

"I can explain-" said Ajax, only to be cut off once more by Freddy.

"Cut the bullshit, man! Tell us what the hell's going on!!" 

"Freddy!" whispered Billy, smacking him upside the head. "He's trying to explain here, stop interrupting him!" 

"Thank you!" huffed Ajax indignantly, before continuing. "That man- well, boy, is more like it, was my ex. We dated in the second grade but broke up after I moved away. He was never the same since. 

"The Evil Ex Co. is a company formed by my seventh, yes, seventh, ex. You will have to battle each one in order to prevent judgment day and claim me as your new boyfriend." 

"Okay, what the fuck?" 

"Freddy!" 

"Does that not sound shady to you? A battle of the exes in order to have you as his boyfriend? That sounds fucking weird to me man." 

"It doesn't matter anymore, we only have days until the battle. I only wish you the best of luck, Billy Batson. Because you will need it." 

As Ajax walked away, Freddy turned to Billy and whispered, "And I thought romance is dead." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh, this took forever to write (I blame my procrastinating ass for this), so here's the next chapter!!

**Author's Note:**

> I came out of the theater wanting to write more of Billy and Freddy since you cowards won't do it so here it is my dudes enjoy <3


End file.
